“Samuel Spade's jaw was long and bony, his chin a jutting v under the more flexible v of his mouth”.
The opening lines of Dashiell Hammett’s 1929 crime novel, The Maltese Falcon, which introduces his hero, private investigator Sam Spade. The iconic “hard and shifty” character was later immortalised by Humphrey Bogart in the film noir classic.
“Say it Again, Sam” is a new play which attempts to create a contemporary, re-working of Hammett’s dark, gritty thrillers, set around the mean streets of Edinburgh.
The atmospheric mood is quickly established: images on screen - the city at night, sound of rain, jazz soundtrack and voice-over in a deep throated drawl, “Edinburgh, a city known for hiding its secrets ....and the story began with a woman”..
Arriving at Sam's office is a buxom young dame in a tight red dress and stilettos. “She caught my eye like a prime rib steak,” comments Sam dryly, as she explains that her sister is missing and needs his help.
The dialogue criss-crosses between spoken conversation and Spade’s private observations, “She sat down and crossed her legs,” in recorded narration. Without knowing his client’s name - he calls her Doll Face and Sweet Cheeks - or asking anything about her sister, our intrepid Sam sets off to crack this case.
First stop, the pub for a Bloody Mary, where he encounters the first of several dubious guys and flashy spivs around town. Whoever they are, they seem intent to stop him in his tracks to find Doll Face’s sister (whoever she may be).
Here, we have all the vintage film noir clichés - fedora hats, wisecracks, smoky bars, hard drinking, womanising, guns and gangsters.
Rather than writing a revival or clever pastiche on the film noir genre, as a homage to Humphrey, writer Jonathan Watson has instead decided to throw all the ingredients into a melting pot and create a silly spoof. Without an ounce of satire.
Michael J Warne as Sam plays it all very cool and laid back, speaking in a monotonous tone, as he tries his luck with The Woman, portrayed by Catrin Sheridan, who reveals her ample cleavage and totters on high heels with seductive charm.
The rest of the cast float around, adrift in a production lacking pace, dramatic punch, humour or Bogart-Bacall passion.
Towards the end, Sam remarks “Nothing makes sense…You are not making sense”.
Well, yes, Say it again, Sam. Nothing makes sense in this crazy, convoluted plot. The only mystery for me was, why did the barman keep forgetting Sam’s Bloody Mary?
Runs 1 - 25 August, 2013, 1.35pm
Ticket prices: £8 (£6)